For this weekend’s open thread, I offer my top 3 favorite cartoons from a website called “See Mike Draw“, which I highly recommend as the funniest cartoons since “The Far Side” ended. I will warn you, some of the site’s cartoons are R-rated, but still quite funny.

Enjoy:

PORTFOLIO SUMMARY: My results for Friday were negligible, but on the negative side.

If we get the “worst case scenario” drop, the number 1292 stands out to me on the S&P 500. Coincidentally, it is both the midrange on the Bollinger Bands, as well as the high from last October. However, to drop that far would be a nearly 2% drop in the S&P. Not impossible, but it would require some heavy selling volume (Volume? What’s that?).

On the other hand, if we get some good news today (Greece fixed?), yesterday’s high of 1333 could easily be challenged, and I wouldn’t be surprised to see the S&P challenge 1344, the high from 11 months ago.

On a personal note, I will be gone most of the day today. I need a new chair for my computer desk, and my wife wants to drag me grocery shopping. If I do any daytrading, it will be either early or on the road.

(Hat tip to Cheezburger.com for the cat picture)

This news, plus month-end approaching, on top of the fact it is Friday, mean this could be a bad day for the markets.

Bloomberg: Apple Regains Smartphone Lead From Samsung
In the worldwide smartphone wars, Apple’s sales nudged ahead of Samsung last quarter. However, I think we are reaching the point of diminishing returns in smartphone technology. What feature can you possibly add to a smartphone now that would excite people? Maybe the smartphone companies have something in mind, but I cannot imagine what it could be, short of actually implanting the phone in your brain.

Infowars.com: Obama Signs Global Internet Treaty Worse Than SOPA
This is either incredibly stupid, or incredibly dangerous, or both:

Months before the debate about Internet censorship raged as SOPA and PIPA dominated the concerns of web users, President Obama signed an international treaty that would allow companies in China or any other country in the world to demand ISPs remove web content in the US with no legal oversight whatsoever.

The Anti-Counterfeiting Trade Agreement [ACTA] was signed by Obama on October 1 2011, yet is currently the subject of a White House petition demanding Senators be forced to ratify the treaty. The White House has circumvented the necessity to have the treaty confirmed by lawmakers by presenting it an as “executive agreement,” although legal scholars have highlighted the dubious nature of this characterization.

…Under the provisions of ACTA, copyright holders will be granted sweeping direct powers to demand ISPs remove material from the Internet on a whim. Whereas ISPs normally are only forced to remove content after a court order, all legal oversight will be abolished, a precedent that will apply globally, rendering the treaty worse in its potential scope for abuse than SOPA or PIPA.

…The treaty will also mandate that ISPs disclose personal user information to the copyright holder, while providing authorities across the globe with broader powers to search laptops and Internet-capable devices at border checkpoints.

In presenting ACTA as an “international agreement” rather than a treaty, the Obama administration managed to circumvent the legislative process and avoid having to get Senate approval, a method questioned by Senator Wyden.

“That said, even if Obama has declared ACTA an executive agreement (while those in Europe insist that it’s a binding treaty), there is a very real Constitutional question here: can it actually be an executive agreement?” asks TechDirt. “The law is clear that the only things that can be covered by executive agreements are things that involve items that are solely under the President’s mandate. That is, you can’t sign an executive agreement that impacts the things Congress has control over. But here’s the thing: intellectual property, in Article 1, Section 8 of the Constitution, is an issue given to Congress, not the President. Thus, there’s a pretty strong argument that the president legally cannot sign any intellectual property agreements as an executive agreement and, instead, must submit them to the Senate.”.

26 European Union member states along with the EU itself are set to sign the treaty at a ceremony today in Tokyo. Other countries wishing to sign the agreement have until May 2013 to do so.

There are a lot of ways to look at this, none of them good.

First, copyright law is out of control. How come patent holders only have exclusive rights for a specified period of time, yet copyrights can be forever (if renewed, which they usually are)? At some point, we need to deal with this disconnect between these two similar areas of law.

Second, businesses which rely on copyrights for their income streams, such as the movie and music industries, are clearly trying to get world governments to support their antiquated distribution chains in the age of the Internet. What they fail to realize is that by giving governments the power to shut down Internet content, or entire websites, without any kind of judicial review, this kind of power could come back to bite them in the rears. Imagine a movie that was “anti-China” being made. China’s government could just call up the U.S. and have the movie’s promotional website shut down, without any kind of judicial hearing.

Third, while I am not saying a government shouldn’t be able to shut down a website or remove content, the website’s owner should get their day in court. Without any form of judicial review, we open a Pandora’s Box of authoritarian overview of the Internet by governments, where they can shut down websites for nothing more than political opposition.

Right now, we can only hope the U.S. Senate rejects this treaty. On a side note, anybody notice how this treaty didn’t get a mention in Obama’s State of the Union address? Curious…

OVERALL: +0.21%

And here is what it looks like today:

So Captain Smith, see any deck chairs that need to be moved? Maybe you have a request for the band?

However, the index futures are mildly positive this morning, in spite of the fact 189 companies will be reporting earnings today, the Greek debt talks continue, and we get a bunch of economic reports today.

Of the economic reports, watch the Durable Orders report coming out at 8:30 am EST before the markets open. It is expected to increase around 2% to 2.2%. Also watch the weekly unemployment claims. If initial claims come in above 400,000, the markets might see that as a bad sign.

As for the S&P 500 technicals, I would have to take the top of the Bollinger Bands, at 1331 as the possible high for today. Surprisingly, since late November, the S&P 500 has traded within the daily Bollinger Bands, and I suspect that trend will continue until we see trading volume pick up.

While we may get some bouncing in the markets today, don’t expect any huge movements until we get some significantly good or bad news. And don’t forget the GDP report comes out tomorrow, so don’t be surprised if the markets flatten out at the close today.

OVERALL: -0.40%

The final line:
EUO: -0.27 today, +0.89 overall to $19.73 (-1.35% today, +4.72% overall)–bought at $18.84

Also, be careful playing the initial market response to the Fed’s announcement, as there have been times in the past where the market took it one way, and then reversed course after they had some time to digest the announcement.

The key item to watch in the announcement will be any news about a potential QE3. Although the economic reports have been positive lately, there have been rumors about a QE3 directed at the mortgage market. If we get any kind of QE3 announcement, expect the markets to have a big up move. On the other hand, if we get no kind of QE3 announcement, there is no telling what the markets could do, although it could be significantly negative if the market’s “powers that be” have been pricing it in.

Take it slow this morning.

Bloomberg: Apple Profit More Than Doubles on IPhone
The only thing I can say about Apple is this: As long as people are willing to pay for their overpriced products, and you only have to look at Apple’s overall margins to figure out just how overpriced they are, then Apple will continue to rock with it’s earnings every quarter. Frankly, it amazes me just how much their products cost in retail, yet people continue to buy them. Admittedly, Apple’s quality is top-notch, but I would rank them as a luxury product in the electronics industry, much like I would rank Mercedes as a luxury product in the automotive industry.

Bloomberg: ECB Said to Oppose Haircut on Its Own Greek Debt
You have to love news stories which show the hypocrisy of government agencies. So private investors and banks have to take a haircut on Greek bonds, but not the European Central Bank?

CNN: Key points of president’s State of the Union address
Not that it really matters, since President Obama has as much chance of getting his initiatives passed by Congress as I have of visiting the surface of Jupiter, but I did find two of his ideas interesting in that they prove one of his ideas won’t work:

Implementation of a minimum tax for multinational companies, which would fund additional tax breaks for companies that create jobs in or move them to the United States.

…Reform of the tax code that includes the so-called Buffett rule, a minimum 30% tax rate for individuals whose income exceeds $1 million.

Consider for a moment that the U.S. has some of the highest corporate tax rates in the world. Now he wants to give a tax break to companies to make U.S. jobs, which will offset the high tax rates they already have?

Now consider that he wants to raise the tax rate on millionaires. If you have been following politics at all lately, you might have heard about presidential candidate Mitt Romney’s tax returns, where he showed multiple overseas tax shelters.

You see what happened when you raise the rates? Businesses and individuals just take their money overseas. How long before they will be offering a tax break to the rich to repatriate their money?

Sorry Mr. President, but you are going to HAVE to cut spending. You won’t tax your way out of our debt problems.